i also had barely eaten the previous day, and not at all yet that day (as instructed. don't eat for 6 hours before appointment? a-okay with me, doctorman!).
got blood drawn to check up on my thyroid. i made a post on PT even though i hadn't been there in a while, sometimes i just know that the PT people are the audience i need for a certain question, or maybe i just can't ask anyone else.
anyway, i was concerned that i could have caused my hypothyroidism by not eating much at the time of diagnosis.
i don't feel like getting into that now though.
in fact, i don't really feel like getting into anything. i don't really feel like talking. but it's 2:30 in the morning and i'm barely tired and extremely bored, and DE's playing video games or something. i wanna write.
i've been seeking opinions about another question lately, too. i talked a little bit about this before...
i think i'm falling for DE. okay, scratch that, it's pretty clear to me that i'm falling for DE. i want to talk to him all the time and i can physically feel me missing him. it's like an ache, a pulling sensation. i've gone through his like twelve facebook photos to see his face. is that weird? because i've never actually talked about my habit of repeatedly photostalking people i miss. specifically guys.
i dunno, you can just feel your heart swell, no?
and so i don't know what to do.
i don't know if i should wait to see if he mentions anything about his feelings growing deeper like mine have. a while ago i did tell him that i like him more and more each day and he said that he likes me more each day, too.
if this were like the other situations i've been in, i just wouldn't say anything until he said it first.
...but this isn't like the other situations i've been in. i'm his second girlfriend, the first one was in middle school, and not to belittle middle school relationships
basically, i've been thinking that, well, if KW hadn't told me that he was falling for me, and then later that he loved me (without requesting to hear it back, he just wanted me to know), then maybe i wouldn't have started thinking about it and trying to figure out if i might've felt the same way.
in several ways, in this relationship i'm the KW to his me-three-years-ago.
except KW had the advantage of being male, they're expected to make the first move...
maybe i'll just relax, let my feelings continue to develop, hope that DE's are doing the same, and trust him to know himself well enough to figure out how he feels on his own.
maybe when we get to like six months or something if nothing's still been said maybe i'll bring it up.
sigh.
life's hard, love's hard.
generally worth it, though.
maybe i'll go to sleep, cuz i've got nothing better to do.
seriously. grr.
and it's so fucking hot in here.
have i mentioned that i've been sick since i got home?
oh right, i have.
well yeah. i still have a fever, it's pretty consistently around 99 degrees. of course when i went to the doctor it was 97.1, so they were like "okay, looks like you're getting better."
fuck you, fever.
well, good night, i guess.
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