the return of EB

so, news flash: the world is still here.


and my 4.0 is official. can't wait to get my certificate saying i made the dean's list with highest honors :)

right now i'm getting dressed to go (watch people) do karaoke with SF, SF's swiss roommate... and CP and EB. plus whoever else comes along. and afterward we're going back to EB's for drinking and chilling.

it's weird.
but not that bad.

last night we had a coming home/birthday party for JB, and for some reason, CP brought EB. ...JB has met EB one other time, and he didn't make a good impression (last fourth of july). and the party was at KK's house, and he didn't make a good impression on her parents either. or KK. but whatever. EB was there. and i thought he would be.
not gonna lie, i dressed up a bit cuter than i usually would have. wore my favorite outfit as of late.

but then EB walked in, and the only thought in my head was "oh, he looks the same."
i didn't really feel anything.

i averted my eyes when he and CP displayed overt affection.


i tried to keep my mind off the fact that, the last time EB was at KK's house, he left holding my hand.
but that's just because i'm a sentimental sap.

i don't love him anymore. which makes me wonder - could i have loved him as much as i thought i did, if i seem to have gotten over him so fast? ....i still think so, but i don't know.

and jesus, it's kind of exhausting being around him. i have to be on my best, wittiest behavior. i've forgotten what it's like to be around someone so... smart, for lack of a better word.  someone who (not intentionally as far as i'm aware) flaunts his intellect.  not in terms of bookishness, but just... general knowledge. and language. damn he will pick up on anything you say wrong. ...linguistics major.....


anyway, that's it for now i suppose. i have to leave in a few minutes. i hope tonight goes well and this isn't the worst idea ever.




....also it's been a near-constant thought on my mind lately that i need to eat less and lose weight so that i don't look like an overstuffed sausage in my new year's outfit like i'm afraid i did the other week when i wore it for a freshman's mini-party. i don't remember if i'm heavier now than last year at this time, but i think i must be because i don't remember it being so difficult to be in that skirt.

=\ it's hard, my mom keeps giving me food.

i'll do my best to eat less, but i've just eaten dinner, and my conviction is always stronger with a full stomach....