morning ramblings, and a night at EB's

it's 6:10 in the morning and i am on adderall and probably still drunk but the adderall makes it so i can't tell. i'll wake up AD soon and we'll play board games and card games until she has to go to brunch at "11" (so probably actually 2).  maybe work more on our fucking epic monopoly board.

 AD and i made this monster one game night when we didn't have monopoly and wanted to play. we didn't wind up playing cuz we got too into making the board as perfect as possible. the board is mostly my handiwork, though AD did assist in color selection for optimal accuracy, and in carefully calculating the proportions and size of the board.  shit was fuckin' intense.

all we have left to do is color in the moneyyyy. so exciting. we're probably gonna laminate and frame it.

so i hung out with people tonight, as i said. karaoke was amusing, though i did not really partake. that was with SF, SF's adorably foreign swiss roommate with the best accent, AE, and MJ. i'm kind of glad EB didn't join us for that part.

but then we went down to brooklyn to go to EB's, with CP (of course). i had mixed feelings, because i figured that not knowing where EB lived after he moved from his apartment in manhattan this summer was probably for the best. not knowing what it looked like would stop my imagination from making bad images.  i'm drunk, so i don't think it's bad, but we'll see when i'm sober.

interacting with EB was... pretty normal. there were a couple times we talked about things that happened when we were "together" but most of it he didn't entirely remember.

we played drinking games and i played with his ferrets.
we all got very drunk.


i even spent some time with just EB and CP, when SF and her roommate were gone, while MJ and AE went to get food around the corner. it wasn't all that bad. i averted my eyes less, but still when they kissed. i found myself remembering (or struggling to remember?) what it was like to be the focus of EB's affection.  but then i found myself missing DE more. (though i still want EB to like me and find me funny and smart, like he apparently somehow used to...)
and even though i kind of miss being the person EB turns to to ask about things (when did this happen? what exactly did i say? what did we do that day?), and the person that stays behind at his house when everyone else leaves, i really don't miss the physical stuff. not because it wasn't enjoyable, but i guess the attraction really is gone.  i suppose the affection hasn't entirely gone with it, but we talked like friends. friends with a ghost of a past.
i told EB i missed the music i would get when we hung out, and he said that i should hit him up and he'll send me shit. i will do that indeed. new music is fantastic. especially because he's got great taste.


it was, all in all, a pretty stellar evening. i'm gonna miss SF's roommate, she was lots of fun. even though AE wanted to hook up with her (and failed).  but that's what you get going for a chaste pretty european girl in the city for two weeks. that's like a quadruple whammy of improbable action.



since being at AD's, she told me about a guy that she knows, that i kind of knew, that died.... i hung out with him (and her) once or twice, went to his roof, ran into him in the neighborhood at least once.... and now... he's gone. overdosed, which isn't remotely surprising if you knew him. but still shocking that it happened. it will have no profound impact on my life, but it's still unfathomable that he is not a person that is alive anymore. never again will anybody talk with him, laugh with him, drink with him, cry with him. he's gone. and it's sad, and so bizarre... may he rest in peace... :(



on a lighter note, i also spoke to MM, and hopefully we'll all get dinner with him, me, KW, SP, NB, and AD. before AD and NB go to the foreign countries that are stealing them for school.


i don't think i have anything else to say.