happy fuckin' valentine's day

today JW told me, as i was lamenting yet another loss at yet another game (yahtzee), that i'm good at being pretty.
he also told me i look adorable in his hat.

i think DE is getting jealous, but he's not saying anything outright. i'm doing my best to reassure him. i love him deeply, of course.

DE decided not to get me anything for valentine's day. i hate valentine's day, but i've never had anyone and who knows if i ever will again. nobody has ever given me anything on valentine's day as a romantic gesture. i wanted something... even just a box of chocolates. anything.
but i couldn't convince him without a) him feeling pressured and b) taking all the fun out of getting something.

DE is still my favorite, which i hope he still knows. i think he does. he just feels lame and boring. which i told him he obviously is not.

he's just had a lot of work lately, and i haven't, so i've been spending time with other people.

and i have fun with them, of course. i like being around people. i don't like being lonely.


but i love DE more than anything.


i'm tired.

it's late and i have an 8 am tomorrow. fuckkkkkkkk,