i came down this weekend for the drenched 5k, and survived it. SC (JB's friend) and i walked part of the way and ran when we could. it was our first 5k ever. and the water balloon fight afterward was the best ever.
and I saw ZM again. he was very excited to see me again, and i was pretty excited to see him too, but i didn't really let that on. idk i didn't really know what i wanted from him so i tried not to lead him on in any way. so i was also nervous because i wasn't sure what he wanted, whether he's actually legitimately interested in me or just wants to hook up with me.
he likes being around me though, and talking to me, and he thinks i'm pretty. he likes my personality.
and i don't know. he's cute. i have a really good time talking to him and being around him.
yesterday was also the celebration for JB's friend JB (for serious), so we went out to dinner and then had a fairly small party at SC's place, which is really nice and was also my home base for the weekend. i'm still there now.
there was a lot of alcohol though, and i got very drunk. it was pretty sudden too. drunkest i'd been in a while but still under control. eventually the party died (actually pretty early), and i left with ZM to go back to JB, JB, and JM's apartment for sleep. we ended up not sleeping until like 6 am, but at least this time we had a bed. and a door.
we talked for a while, and i drank a lot of water, and we hooked up again. a lot. we didn't have sex (but he really wanted to and i admit that probably would have been fun), and i never even took my shirt or underwear off, but he did some other stuff and worked around it and oh my gooooddddddd he is immensely talented. like holy fucking shit i had a good time, and it seemed like he was having a good time too. tbh I did really want to have sex with him but i also didn't. it's too soon, you know? and i still think that would hurt DE even if he wouldn't know.
but like, dear god i would be down to do that again soon. but idk when. JB's friend JB was telling me about a giant art festival in baltimore next weekend and that sounds fun and AE's family might potentially be able to drive me and JB down, and it's also SC's last weekend before she goes away... but i also do need to see KW before he embarks on his extended and very dangerous journey. and AD will be mad at me if i go out of town again but i really want to okay?
ugh i just kind of can't stop thinking about how talented he is actually omg.
but apparently he usually goes for petite women which i am super not because i am 5'9" and he's like 5'11" or something which is shorter than i go for, and also he likes skinny bitches which makes me pretty insecure when it should make me feel more secure, you know?
okay anyway -
we all had brunch this morning and found free furniture and i would have liked to kiss him goodbye but we were around people, even though everyone pretty much knows that there is something going on. he was pretty open about the fact that i'm really the reason he went to drenched with us this weekend.
i mean, i still don't really know what i want, just that i am definitely down to hook up with him more, and also i do really like talking to him.
I don't know. we'll see how it goes. i know he wants to see me again, and he said that he wants to teach me to drive.
he's from jersey and is planning to take me to a parking lot. i'm like, i told you the "make it off" story of when HB tried to teach me to drive.
actually whatever is happening with ZM kind of reminds me of the beginning of EB, only with hooking up too. we're talking nearly constantly, and he's silly and teases and threw grass at my face at the water balloon fight like when EB threw cheese at my face the second time i ever met him, neither of them are my typical type, AND they're both from jersey (apparently kind of near each other), and if you care about zodiac signs they're both leos, and just i don't even know is this a bad omen? (HF is also a leo, so i don't have a good track record with leos...)
i'm gonna stop talking now.
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