do not want strep

the other day i woke up to a text from EB. it's sad but it probably made my week. i had texted him the night before but i guess he was asleep so i woke up to a greeting and an apology cuz he'd had a long day.
it was nice. he never does that.


my roommate's got strep, i really hope i don't catch it. i got stuff to do. people to see. places to go. strep to not have.


...i've been really uninterested in living lately. i haven't bothered to do any of my work, either.
i should probably go to the wellness center and address this with them, because it's actually getting really bad. like i'm going to fail everything.

i stupidly looked up whether or not it's possible to fatally overdose on my hypothyroidism medication.
turns out it is.
now i can't stop thinking about it.


i really feel like i have to talk to EB about this, but i don't want him to know i'm not okay. and yet i need a reason to be okay. i need reasons to not cut, i need reasons to hang on.


funny.
some guy i casually know around campus just facebook chatted me. we got to music sharing, he finally got me to listen to silversun pickups, a band i've been meaning to check out (i know EB likes them quite a bit), and i shared with him bon iver.
he asked me about my scars. he'd noticed them. quite observant. other people i've spent a lot more time around still apparently haven't. (not that i mind that.)
i kind of lied... he wanted to know if i still did that and i said no. ...okay so i outright lied. it's not like i was gonna say yes lol.


i'm actually in a mildly better mood... for now. at least i'm in a good enough mood to finally go to sleep. now that it's pretty much five in the morning. thank god for my late thursdays.


i probably had more to say.

i feel hot. i hope that's because it's actually hot in here and not because i'm catching strep.

good night.