i'm being a whiny bitch to EB right now, complaining about how i should really just sleep through dinner because it's unacceptable how fat and flabby i am, not to mention incredibly greedy.
i shouldn't take what i don't deserve to eat.
he's all "no, stop, you're beautiful and you're the only one who doesn't see it."
i said that everyone's either deluded or lying to me.
he pointed out that if everyone thinks differently than i do, it's more likely i'm the one seeing things incorrectly.
i admit that makes logical sense but i can't even consider it, logical me has nothing to say on the matter because i am so certain that everyone is wrong or lying about this.
today i was walking to class, in my XS red dress that i told you guys about (it still fits, what the fuck?), and an ivory blazer/lace-up shoes. basically my outfit was great.
and some guy made a comment about "working the runway."
of course that means not that i look like a model, just that i am damn stylish. the guy that said i looked like a model the other day said i'm like the best-dressed girl on campus.
these people really can't think i look like a model, can they?
then later my friend was saying how he actually thinks most girls could stand to put on weight... but not me. "you look healthy."
the three words people like me hate to hear.
but he actually thinks i couldn't stand to put on weight, that gets me too. like, you don't need any more weight, you're fat enough.
all you're doing is telling me i'm failing, that there are people infinitely more perfect than me.
which, of course, there are. there will always be. logical me knows that.
perfectionist me can't fucking stand it.
i also can't decide if i think EB is wrong or lying.
i think i'm going to go with lying on this one, because he just wants me to be okay and will tell me anything to make me stop.
i've just told him it's a good thing we're not together because he deserves better.
he hasn't denied it.
No comments:
Post a Comment