fucking fire drills

i have a really unpleasant headache. i've had it for most of the day... it hit like halfway through my great works course, and then went away for a bit after my design class, and at like 7:30 it came back.

i have a paper to write tonight. i just want to go to bed and make my headache stop.
i feel awful.
when i eat too much and feel too guilty about it, i feel like i could purge if i just thought about it hard enough. that's what i feel like right now.



i have to be stronger.

i'm going home mid-october. it's pretty much decided, unless something comes up.
EB says he's willing to drive down and get me, and bring me back, eliminating my need to find some kind of transportation to baltimore. i was really stressing out about that.

i don't understand why EB's so willing to drive four hours to come get me and drive me back to new york. four hours. eight hours both ways. sixteen hours when he'll be driving me back.
he's so sweet. i miss him so much.
i skyped with him again the other day. he hugged the screen at one point. i was struck with an overwhelming urge to climb through it.

but i also have to lose at least eight pounds before then. which doesn't sound like it should be hard, but apparently it really is for me lately.


my headache's only getting worse and i've taken three advil. fuck my li-



all righty, thanks for the random fire drill on the first low-50s day since last fucking winter, while i'm wearing pajama shorts and no bra, and have a headache. i love hearing alarms when my head is pounding.
and we know you inspect our rooms during fire drills. 



i'm giving up on my paper draft and going the fuck to sleep.
i feel like my head is splitting in two.