wahoo, winter break.

i'm home.

and still haven't seen EB. everything reminds me of him so it's hard not to think about how different things are. when i was here for fall break i was at his house every free night i had. because he wanted me to be.
sigh.

i don't know what he's afraid of, i really don't.



i'm not skinny enough to be back here. maybe not seeing EB yet is a good thing. it gives me a chance to get smaller.
i did, however, go shopping saturday. bought a bunch of stuff. i think i have my new year's outfit.


incidentally, HF was one of the few people who asked when i was returning. he wanted to hang out with me friday night.
it was pretty nice at first, which probably should have raised an eyebrow sooner than it did.
he ended up trying to hook up with me. i talked my way out of it. i did kiss him back once or twice, to see how i felt, but i felt nothing. except stubble. i wasn't into it. it's kind of a shame, considering it's almost 2012..... but eh. i guess i'll be waiting even longer.
it's also kind of awesome that i wasn't into it. i dunno. i'm kind of proud of myself.


i don't really have anything else to say. it feels like i should have more to do than i do.