i don't feel ready for it to be tonight.
first of all, i'm not fuckin' skinny enough. i'm terrified i'm not going to fit into the skirt i bought for this evening. terrified. ugh i feel gross so gross.
second of all, i'm still stuck on the question of how the year can end and leave me exactly where it met me, relatively speaking.
things should be different... i fell in love, i went away to school, i experienced a few new (not necessarily good) things. i should have something to reflect upon and i just don't.
also, i'm pissed cuz after tonight i'm free to sex it up again and that won't be happening because EB backed out and i've got nobody else. well, except HF but i'm not going there.
and i still feel so unwanted.
well, somehow i guess i'll have to make these last 6 hours and 21 minutes of 2011 count.
at least i'm keeping my pre-new year's resolution. i'm cut-free. you can barely even feel the most recent two anymore.
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