i've had nothing interesting to say for a while.
still don't.
this week is hell, total hell. so much work. sociology experiment to think of & do, topic to pick, paper to write for my honors course, test in my neuro class. and drawing.
buuuuuuuuuut AD is visiting me this weekendddddd and i'm so very excited.
i'm also excited for friday afternoon ;)
DE is driving me to baltimore to pick up AD. AD's not getting in til late, but the current plan is for me and DE to leave right after lunch, and get to his house like 2 hours before his parents start getting home from work.
the kissing issue's gotten a lot better. in fact he's pretty good.
there's something kind of nice about not going farther - i mean, once you start having sex, who ever just makes out for an hour anymore? it's usually going toward something more.
that said, i'm now approaching a full year of no sex.
so not looking forward to that milestone, shit.
that's coming up the first week back from break.
i really never wanted to make a full year without it. damn that stupid promise, i coulda had so much fun this summer. sex wouldn't be so foreign to me. it's so weird to think that i used to have sex every week. that's a thing i did. that is a truth that happened, and it was years ago.
how do i not feel self-conscious when i'm sure i'm so rusty at it? how do i feel sexy? especially when i'm so fat.
....yesterday when DE and i were enjoying roommate-free time, his hands were on my ribs, and he was like "how do you think you're fat? your ribs are visible." but i don't store fat on my ribs. there's plenty of it elsewhere, places he hasn't seen.
i'll just be pleased with the fact that EB once said i was very good at....something else. i like to be good at stuff.
ugh, i'm sorry for talking about this so much.
it's clearly weighing on my mind a lot.
this is why i haven't posted.
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