first post, second post

i know, it's only a few hours after my greeting post. but i wanted to talk, and i didn't feel like the greeting post was the place to do it. perhaps i should just sleep?
..........


probably......






.........naaahh.
so here we are then, at 7:14 in the morning. the sun's up and so am i. except i haven't slept. i'll get maybe 6 hours in before i have to get up and go to the dentist.
i do this every night. i retreat to my bedroom at eleven or twelve, get on the computer for "just a couple minutes," and then stay up 'til sunrise, and sleep 'til four in the afternoon. it's made going to the gym very difficult, considering that's when it closes on weekends!

presently, though, my primary problem is this:
a friend of mine... who happens to also be an ex-boyfriend/ex-fuck buddy... is coming back into town in... oh, jesus, it's three days now. approximately, anyway. i haven't gotten an exact date (nor the duration of his stay, which i hope will be properly lengthy). let's just say he's still a very significant person in my life, even though we talk about... once every other month, though seldom for lack of trying. he's a very busy person these days, with his new life.
the point is, he's coming back, and i haven't seen him in eleven months, and i wanna look flawless (read: thin and fit). i don't know why i feel this pressure when someone returns. i've been freaking out about this for months, before i even knew if his visit was certain or not. in fact, that's kind of what pushed me over the edge with this latest food-drama episode.
so i've been dieting for months, though it's been rocky. but with him on the horizon, i'm freshly committed. and i'm committed to going to the gym at least three days a week, provided i don't sleep through it. and this diet? you're going to hear a lot about it. you're going to be my motivator. and i'm going to love you for it.