i'm really good at this.

...failing, that is.

i ended up going to sleep around 5 am. i could have stayed up later, so i'm rather pleased with myself that i went to bed so long before sunrise! except then when my 9 am alarm (yes i pushed it back) went off, i shut it off while still half-asleep. ...so i woke up at 2:45, in time for therapy. got nothing done.

BUT.
my materials for my short, self-run photography course came in the mail, and though i missed their delivery yesterday, i picked them up today!
i think my cat's currently sitting on them.

so. i have no plans for tomorrow. zero. nada. nil. zilch. goose egg. SO. let's try this again! i will get my fat ass OUT OF MY WARM, COMFY BED, and venture into the snowy wilderness that is.... springtime in manhattan. (it was in the fucking seventies on friday. now it's snowing. what the actual fuck?)

in other news, i've joined myfitnesspal. got the app on my ipod and everything. i have set my goals and am keeping track. i kept failing at writing in my food diary (that works better when i'm more active, for some reason), so i shall hope this works better.
except it's also driving me CRAZY because i set my goal at 1000 calories (i don't really have a goal, but i don't really want to pass 1000...) and today i ate 1014. i burned more than 14, but still, that extra 14 is just laughing at me like HAHA YOU FAILED.

except really i didn't because i don't usually count the vitamins i take, and this does. so minus those, i'm under 1000. but still. grumble grumble?


have not weighed. currently full. had ravioli AND cereal for dinner after failing to be able to eat my mom's chicken parmesan.
it has nothing to do with my fucked-up eating habits, i just literally could not figure out how to eat it. i don't like chicken skin, i don't particularly like dark meat, and i don't like burnt bits or large lumps of odd-tasting cheese, or large lumps of sauce-covered bread crumbs. or not bread. whatever the fuck they were.




i looked in the mirror today, and maybe i'm delusional, but i felt like i actually looked a little smaller... not any less fat, just smaller.
i wore my skinny cargos, which used to be major muffin top makers on me... i'm talking lie-on-a-bed-to-zip-them, don't-exhale-all-day tight.
but they're like... loose around my hips now. SWEET VICTORY IS MINE. ALL HAIL THE GODS OF PROGRESS.