oh boy.

well last night was fun... </heavy sarcasm>
there's drama between my friend and me right now, and it's really really stressful. i messed up. but i just ranted about it to my therapist a lot so i'm done talking about it for now.

the good news though.
i've barely eaten all day. well, i had some rice at like 1:something in the morning, and a couple fruit snacks around 3 this afternoon. i also walked a couple miles, at kind of a quick pace.
and then when i got home around 5pm i weighed myself. my scale's pretty unreliable, but it said 125.6. 125.6! i know it can't last, and it's only because i'm pretty empty right now, and as soon as i eat something (because i have to eat something more so my metabolism doesn't come to a screeching halt), i'm gonna probably go back to 128. but i feel so good. that's the lowest i've ever seen my scale read in a very long time. a very long time. lowest my dieting has gotten me is 126.something. i'm loving this feeling, and i hope i can make it last.



update: i ate a small dinner. got really full. haven't weighed myself. considering doing so.
i spoke to my friend. i have to make sacrifices. no sex until 2012. kinda funny. once that hits, i'll actually have been sex-free for over a year. it's already been three months. so... awesome.
also, she wants to have me not see the guy that's coming back. initially i agreed (very reluctantly), but part of his rehab program is making amends with people he's harmed, which is easiest done in person. i'm so fucking confused.
all i wanna do is see him and talk to him and burn a chopstick with him in central park across from tavern on the green. and walk.
i sigh.